Very sad meeting

I have been with the Volunteer Fire Dept since 2010 as a 1st Responder and the Secretary of the Board of Directors. I have loved every minute (almost) of it. When I was diagnosed with MS I had already lost the ability to climb up in to the engine. I retired officially when I started MS meds which have compromised my Immune system. But I still had the BOD. Tonight we had the meeting I have been dreading for 2 years, ever since the County told us they were putting a Paid Crew at our station. We Officially Dissolved the BOD tonight. Our next, and last, meeting will be to deal with all the assets like equipment and “stuff” at the station that belongs to the Volunteer portion. Now all I have are memories and a few T-shirts (and a REALLY BRIGHT YELLOW jacket) It was a very emotional meeting for all of us. But I will say I cherish every moment I was there and I learned so many things. Its like the end of an Era for me.

7 years ago

Seven years ago I was a fire dancer at a Rennaissance Faire. I was the only one and I TRULY enjoyed my job there. It was hard, it was skilled, it was dangerous and I was famous. MS took this. But today it doesn’t hurt as much as it did last year to watch this video. So Enjoy!

Mom’s Job too

If you have ever met an autistic child, you know that there are things just a little different. Well hygiene is one that a lot of people on the outside don’t understand. These kids just don’t think about those things. In fact, most will shy away from “body parts” whether talking about it or touching “those” things.

My daughter has a few that keep getting her so it’s My job to take care of it. She doesn’t like to scrub in the shower or in the morning. It’s like, even with a washcloth, she is touching something horrible and scary. Her neck will turn black if I don’t catch her. I actually have to grab her and scrub her neck for her. I keep telling her to do it but after a while it is REALLY gross. Once I had to use nail polish remover to get it off before I truly understood that “touching” was a thing.  I shudder to think what yuck is under her clothes as she freaks when I try to talk to her about scrubbing “That.” She pitches a screaming fit when I try to do it for her. So I sneak peeks when she is in the shower to see if I see anything, then stay in the bathroom and badger her until I see her wash.

Drying her body coming out of the shower is Never going to happen. There is always a trail of water where she just walks strait out. She wraps the towel around her to cover herself then wraps her hair in the towel. Her pajamas are usually stuck to her and her neck is dripping. Sigh.

Then there is using deodorant, which she REALLY needs. She has had the same stick for well over a year. When I can get her to actually use it, I am honestly not sure if it touches her skin. If it does, well she certainly isn’t putting on enough.

As far as underclothes, well, I have come up with some interesting ways to discuss them. “Did you put on a fresh pair of..(head gesture) you know?” Which is ussually met with a drawling, “yyyyeeeeeessssss.” And then I ask to see them. I won’t even begin to discuss female monthly hygiene. Suffice to say that I am buying her new underwear every few months because they just vanish. I hope to the trash can but I havn’t found any surprises as of yet.

Teeth brushing is also an issue. I got her an electric toothbrush because it will clean better even if she does a half way job. But I think the buzzing bothers her. She has a manual toothbrush but her front teeth are often still scummy when she is done. Also the mint toothpaste, well she won’t even put it in her mouth. So now we have kids toothpaste that is fruit flavored. Unfortunately she has chosen and apple flavored one currently that does not have fluoride in it. It is for babies. I admit the mint toothpaste is awful so I got blue raspberry, which has fluoride. But because I chose it, she won’t use it. That is the teenager part, which makes things even MORE fun.

One you probably didn’t think about is Nails. Both fingernails and toenails. She inherited my Grandmothers nails and stole My lashes to be sure. I am jealous of how string her nails are. I am not exaggerating when I say I just cut off an inch off every finger for her and they are still an inch long. They are curling!!! And her toenails are cutting holes in her shoes. That is going to be a battle here shortly. They are so long that when I clip them, if the piece I cut off goes flying, I wear shoes until I find it. Its like stepping on thumbtacks! And that is so bad when she is a dancer. It is so bad that when I took her to the pointe shoe fitter because she couldn’t get her shoes on any more, the lady said not to bring her back until she cut her toenails. You can imagine the shoes fit fine again after I cut them for her. I think that is why she didn’t want to do pointe anymore. Sad mama.

As for clothes in general, I have given up on her putting her clothes away. They will never get folded and I am tired of buying her socks ever 2 weeks. When I pull her clothes out to put them away, I count her socks and roll them together for her. When I don’t find however many pairs or I only find 1, I have to go searching. They are usually rolled inside out UNDER the laundry basket or stuff somewhere inside a shoe or up in her loft. Ever couple of months I make her completely empty her loft so I can get her clothes back. If I didn’t watch so closely, she would wear the same pants all week and the same socks, if any at all. I have to take her PJs away from her when she is not home so I can wash them. She becomes attached to 1 set and won’t change out. If I ask her to, oh yes that teenager comes out again, so I just take them.

Mom’s job is everything. But when you have an autistic child, that work detail expands to include things you never thought about. Some of it annoys me now and then, and some of it is awkward. But its my job. I’m Mom and I love her so much

Not as good as yesturday

But still good. Mostly.

I didnt fall asleep until 1130-midnight and had a little trouble waking. I went out to actually Mow today on the big mower. And promptly slung the belt off the blades. so no mowing. But I got to ride on it around the street some. It is probably better I didnt as Currently I am working on a migraine. So I helped by painting a large wooden box. Granted I didnt get more than the bottom done.

The RV park had a concert on a stage they built out of a Very old RV. The lady had a great voice and she is named Jessie Ritter. She sang for an hour and a half. My buddy from the car place came out to see her. We talked about our kids. He is 47!! and looks 35. He has 3 kids and SIX grandkids!! Fun guy, nice to hang with. Taking my migraine to bed now.

I laughed

Today I took my Therapists advice: I got out of the house and hung out with some friends who had a project. Went out to the property to walk around and see how everything looks after being abandoned during the summer heat and my issues. It was very relaxing and I really liked being out there. I didnt really DO much, but I was out. I did however discover that I REALLY like driving the Big Mower. I was using it to help move wood fence posts from 1 side to the other, but not mowing. I took off in the thicket with it just learning to drive it and laughed like I havnt laughed in years. It was too much fun. I would hit a dip in the ground and it would bounce, then when I came to a stop too hard, the ass end popped up off the ground. I laughed even harder. It was great.

One of the guys decided to go “walk-about” in an area I had viewed on satellite. There was something that looked like an old car, just past the rubble that I can’t move yet. He took off happy as a clam in to the deep woods to find it. It is very soggy back there and can be very swampy. None of us have been back there so no idea how bad. He wore knee high rubber boots. When we caught up with him later, he was soaked from the waist down and dumping muck out of his boots. He found a deep spot, thankfully he got himself out because nobody would have been able to save him!! But he found it. It was an OLD RV that has collapsed in on itself and is half sunk in the swamp. Yeah I think we should just leave it alone.

After he dried out, the guys sunk posts for a fence. I also FINALLY got my car back. I love my Honda Element. The seats are upright, I dont have to climb in, I just step in. Its not hard to get out of and it has elbow space. And it tows behind my RV on a Blue Ox like it was made for it. I really missed my car. I also took some cuttings of the Kumquat tree as I found out they are about to chop it down. Its not mine so I have no say, and it is way to big to transplant. I just hope I can get these branches to root. I would hate to miss out on having a Kumquat tree that produces so well.

Good Morning!

I slept again, and even got to sleep in a little. Not the “I am so exhausted I cant get up” sleep, but the, “Oh this bed feels good and I am just going to enjoy it a little longer.”

On my 1st cup of hot tea with the windows open enjoying the cool air and waking up the rest of the way. This is nice, I like this. So much better than how it has been the last few months. I have no doubt now that the insomnia was adding to the depression and a lot of my other issues.

Today I want to do some surveying of the Property as it has been a year since we did so. Its time to re-evaluate the plans and adjust the work accordingly. I hope to get the weed eater in 1 area that looks very thin from satellite images. If it is as thin as I think, we can clear it slowly in just a couple days which will put a huge dent in what needs to be done. Need to drill some holes in the giant wood box we salvaged and paint it. It will be a raised bed planter when finished.  Nothing major today, just slow and steady and play by ear.

If I am still feeling well later today, I may try the weed eater by the rubble pile and try to get around it. I have no idea what the ground looks like past it as the weeds are so overgrown. I think there is about 100-200 feet of good ground there before it drops off in to the swamp. Now that weather has cooled off and the weeds will start dying back, it is time to get moving again.

I want to plan where the gardens will go and start moving some of my trees over. I have 2 apple, 2 fig, 1 peach and 2 plum. I want to get the orchard started, they will do so much better not in pots. Also I have 9 Blue Spruce for the beginning of the living fence that need planting in the ground too. Today will be a great day.

Oh and around the corner at the RV park is a HUGE Kumquat tree that is a HEAVY producer. It has several new branches that are still green, but strong. I will be taking several cuttings and trying to root them. I want to have a Kumquat tree out there too. Yay!

Restless Leg Meds!!

Yesterday my fave Neurologist prescribed me Requip for my restless leg.  Last night, I took it around 930, and was asleep by 1030. I slept though the night and woke up to my 1st alarm!! OMGoodness this is the 1st time in more than 6 months!! I feel rested, I dont feel strung out, It was WONDERFUL to finally sleep and at night too!!My blood sugar is off, but that is to be expected. I feel inspired to go do the hard work in the garden, which is emptying the composter and nourishing the closed off sections for the winter to cook for spring. Yay!

Did some minor stuff in the garden. Planned out next years crop, a small amount of weeding, watered the new broccoli, kale and Collard greens. Then I pulled the last of the tomato roots except the 1 that has 2 tomatoes on it. That section has 2 tomato plants and 1 eggplant. They are still producing so I cant close down that section for the season. But that is ok. I also planted “winter” corn. See, Florida doesn’t truly have a winter, we have a mild Fall by most accounts. The package says it is hardy in the cold Montana winters so I figure here will be just fine. Its the Painted Mountain corn, very colorful. Good for fresh eating, popping or making meal. We shall see how it goes.

End of the day

It was a great start. But like all things good, they must be destroyed apparently. Mom had surgery today, minor back procedure that takes about an hour. Got there with no problem, she got checked in pretty fast, they got her IV in and had her dressed for the occasion. Then we wait, and wait, and wait. Turns out there is a delay. We waited 2 hours before they finally came back to get her. Thankfully the procedure went VERY quickly, but now her back hurts very much and I worry about her.

So I got her home, and my daughter comes out to Bitch about school. This isn’t your basic venting session, and it wasn’t asking for help, no problem solving today. That or I am just being very touchy coming down from feeling so good this morning. May be that I am just bitchy. Either way there was bitching. Finally get home myself and in to pajamas. And I am out of chocolate. And I am still worried about my disabilty claim. They are saying they have not gotten certain paperwork and now I am becoming more and more scared they will deny it. When I had optic neuritis it was easy to diognose, send in test results, show treatment and return to work. Bing bang boom. Not depression. The paperwork will say “Patient says she is unhappy and doesn’t want to go to work. Patient says she is depressed.” That can’t be tested, cant be shown with a treatment that will immediately have me back at work. So I am very concerned I am not only going to be denied, but also fired. That will set off a chain of events that will be even worse, like loosing my RV, my health insurance, my car & Rv insurance, all of which amount to loss of MS treatment considering my MS med, Gilenya, is $19k per month………….. Worked myself right up in to panic attack. Thankfully I have Lorazapam. I am done with this day. It is time to shut off my brain. Good nite


Cow Poo

The community garden is officially in decline, as expected. Tis the season for summer things to die, sections to be tilled, nourished and covered, and plans for next year to begin.  I looked at my roommate and said, “Will you buy me a bag of cow shit?”…….

Suffice to say, he didn’t know how to respond.

I am a little sad to see the tomato plants slowly turn brown and die. Funny though, it isnt happening very fast. There is no, “It’s time to chop them down,” sign. I have 4 left, 2 with fruit! I am not sure if I should chop them down, or just let them go and see how long they live. But that section needs to be tilled with cow poo and compost so it has plenty of time to cook for spring. I plan to plant LOTS of corn. With how weird the seasons are here, there is no official winter start and finish. In fact, there are usually 3 true Days of Winter! There is cold, but only enough to confuse the plants  and birds lol.

He says, “So all you want to Christmas is Cow Shit?”

“Oh and some peat moss!”


Work this week

Not today, and not tomorrow (doc apps) but later this week we are getting back on track in Pace. The goal is the clear the easiest areas, remove from debris and start on a tire wall to bolster a washing out area. Turns out that people have been illegally dumping out there for a while as it was vacant for so long. Tires and cement blocks are the most common, so I figure we can reuse some of it and pay less to take it to the dump.  Slow and steady as the weather holds.

Oh and its Kumquat season. Time to make Marmalade!!Kumquat