Day before

Today is the day before recital. It is dedicated to resting, staying cool, avoiding swelling and light stretching. I didn’t  used to have to work so hard and do nothing just to fit in my pointe shoes. It used to be that I would run my dances in the car while driving, do a lot of stretching and basic technical warm up specific to the moves I had in my dance. There was no worry about fitting in to my costume or shoes. MS sucks and the heat is not helping!

I did some wood work yesterday on the coop and my ankles were Canckles by bed time, no ankle bones at all. I couldn’t bend my feet, walking hurt. I rubbed Willow Balm up my legs and all over my feet and ankles before wrapping them in ace bandaged to help reduce the swelling. I feel like all my time is spent preparing for things by sitting and doing nothing. I can think of 1000 things I would like to do instead of sitting here watching TV.  I can crochet but its too hot to work on the blankets I have started. I would sew but I don’t feel like digging the sewing machine out from under the dinette. I wish I had one of those diamond painting kits. I like those. I could also do some beading but I have not been happy with my work as of late and I need crimping pliers to finish the work and protect it from falling apart. I only need to make 1 more cuff for my daughters jingle dress, but I still need to make the dress.

My roommate finally told me he hates the RV. He says its just too cramped. There is a backstory to that but it doesn’t matter.  I bet if I had a storage shed than it would be better. Or a workshop to work on my crafts so they were not everywhere. I asked him what he thought about getting a trailer instead. He of course said sure, but I cant imagine he will do anything to make that happen. He tends to say things and then do nothing. I would not mind something a little bigger with a craft room, more storage space, no tanks to dump and a good oven. I also would not mind a lower payment. But I do mind that there will be no bed, microwave, couch, shelves and other furniture that is already in the RV. If we get a used one, than there may not be a fridge or oven that works. It will be much harder to clean and on a bad day I will have trouble moving around because of all the space. Right now I can hold on to walls and stumble a short distance to the bathroom. Plus my daughter is very comfortable here, she likes how small it is. I also worry about having to abandon everything if a hurricane comes. I like the peace of mind that if I decide to go somewhere, I can pack up and take my home with me. Camping is going to be out of the question without the RV. I must have the AC. Gulf Wars is also out too. Feels like I finally got my own home and now we are talking about getting rid of it. I wonder if he is ever happy anywhere for long.

So now I wonder how long it would take to sell the RV and where we would live while it is up for sale. You cant sell an RV if you are living in it. What if I have to drop the price to sell it for less than I owe? Or worse, it doesn’t sell and it is repossessed? And how do I start the process? What if I never get disability? I think we need to go to a mobile home place and talk to one of their people to see if its a trade in possibility. I would take a major loss, but I guess that’s OK. I had hoped that my Mom would come of trips with me in the RV but when I got the cat, that was no longer an option as she is allergic. Did’nt think that one through so well.

The other option is to go north and follow cooler weather. That would help me a lot health wise. Kevin put in for Assistant Manager and there is an opening in Tennessee, Texas, South Florida and Washington State. Texas and S Florida would not help with the heat, and Washington is WAAAAYYYYY too far north. I have a cousin in TN though and the land is pretty. Snow is a scary thought. But cooler weather could mean I can be outside and doing things more.