Today in Therapy

My Therapist is Irish. He is really cool, no nonsense, no fluff. I like him a lot. He listens, then points out a few things so I draw my own conclusions in many cases. Today he said, after hearing about me in high school and then in college, that I have had some pretty mixed messages. He had asked why I throw myself so hard into things like work. In High school I was always told (by teachers and such) that I would never succeed, never amount to anything. So I decided to prove them wrong and be amazing. So in college I was an Honors Student, in the Honors Society and almost top of the class. They told me there I could do anything, do whatever job made me happy and make a lot of money. So I am a failure that can do anything…….. Well, if I can do anything, WHY have I not gotten the job at work as a Trainer? I have applied more times than I have fingers and toes twice over. He agrees that I am not an “Indoor Girl” and that my being happy there is almost impossible, hence the current situation. He suggested I start shopping for jobs. Only problem with that is, what company in their right mind would hire somebody with my limitations, let alone pay what I need or offer health insurance that is worth even half of what I currently have? Plus if I had to change insurance, what insurance company would take me with MS?? He said to just try anyways because I am only looking at the negative and that there is something out there for me. So I failed but I can still do anything……. I am confused. I am sure there is a lesson in this exercise but I cant see it. My head hurts. I am going to bed

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