Dancer v MS

I have been a dancer of some kind for a very long time. Fire dance was the one that I felt completely awesome doing, followed by Irish Dance (before the leg thing) and last ballet because I have never considered myself graceful. When I started in to ballet again with my daughter, I realized that I had a little skill. Ok I was 2nd in the class (of adults) with really bad Irish dancer over crossing and complete incompetence in anything that wasn’t bounced or strait forward and up. ( If you have never seen it, ID kick and leaps are always forward, never separating the legs to the sides except in slides) Then MS started taking my ability and everything went slowly down the drain.

I mourned, complete despair mode. Then I started choreographing stuff. It just started one day in the MRI Tube. When I came out the 1st time, I had made and entire 2 hand reel. The next MRI I came out with a 3 Hand Jig, and the 3rd MRI I came out with an advanced 2 hand reel. So there is where I am still in Irish Dance. Fire dance is completely out for my safety.

But I still do Ballet and my Teacher knows I have good and bad days. She tends to go easy on the moves in case I have a bad day at recital. So far so good. Well last MRI I started working on a ballet solo. Yeah I know, I am not a Prima ballerina, not even corp material so I really have no say.  I am the weakest link (but still fighting!) in the class and now I have to audacity to want to dance a solo. Yeah right. So maybe I can choreograph this for someone else who can do it justice…………….no not this one. This one is mine. Even if nobody ever sees it and I never get to run it all the way through.  And btw, the costume is a really flowy asymmetrical pale blue and white watercolor tunic over pale blue capri tights or a lyrical tatter dress with long sleeves. Not that I have really thought about it or imagined it at the theatre.

Well there are moments where I think that one nite I can go to class and show the teacher and she will want to tweak a few things and like it soooo much that I should do it in the recital. But then I think that I havn’t practiced it enough even for a rough run thru, let alone have the dance finished. And then I think about actually doing it and get all nervous and self conscious and realize I wont look good doing it so I shrink back in to the studio in my mind. Besides, I have never truly learned classical ballet and I have no idea what lyrical/modern/contemporary rules are as far as moves. This dance is sort of a mix of all of it. And I don’t think the teacher likes that stuff seeing as there have never been any of those classes offered at the studio. sigh

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